The first time I ever ate alone was the summer after I graduated from college. I was interning out at Kiawah and they had put me in employee housing that was in the boonies of Charleston (at least it felt like that to me). I was in a new part of town and working my first full time job. All my friends had full time jobs now too, we were growing up and part of growing up is realizing it’s really f-ing difficult to coordinate time to see your friends.

At this point I had already made my master list of Charleston restaurants and I had so many places I wanted to try. I was continually missing out on trying new things because I didn’t want to go it alone. Finally, I worked the up courage to go get a fish sandwich at some new spot off Savannah Highway (it has closed since then). I was strategic in my decision. I picked an area where I wouldn’t run into anyone I know, because how tragic for them to see the spectacle that is someone eating alone – ESPECIALLY me.

It is genuinely laughable to recall how nervous I was. The entire time I was glancing down at my phone or trying to “act natural”. I felt like all the staff and patrons were looking at me like I was some weirdo. It reminds me of all the early 2000s High School movies I watched. “Look at the freaky loser eating lunch by herself”. I mean society conditions us to think if you are by yourself or the odd one out that there MUST be something wrong with you. But as I sat there and enjoyed my stupid fish sandwich I started to realize that none of it matters.

That sounds depressing, but it is true. None of it matters. These people around me are not wasting their thoughts on me or my presence. The only reason I was so anxious to begin with has nothing to do with actually being alone and everything to do with my ego. Our egos get bruised when we feel like the misfit. We assume that others around us are casting judgement, when in reality that notion is extremely arrogant. I mean what prick thinks an entire restaurant full of people is thinking about them? Exactly.

Once I gave up on caring about all the nonsense that was bogging me down, I attempted to challenge myself to dine alone as much as I could. I took baby steps, but started to feel more confident with each meal. I stopped using my phone as a crutch and tried to be more present. Sometimes I would bring a book, or sometimes I would watch whatever game was on. Either way, I wasn’t scared anymore and there is something so freeing about being by yourself.

It should be a requirement by law that if you are above the age of 22 that you need to learn how to eat alone. Our generation is a prisoner to the cell phone and social anxiety and it is preventing us from enjoying some of the simplicities in life. So stop being an arrogant prick, no one cares if you eat alone. Check your ego at the door cause its ridiculous to think that anyone would consider you the loser at the lunch table.