This year I spent my first holiday away from home. Truthfully, I was pretty reluctant to the idea of splitting holidays with my boyfriend. I’m extremely close with my family and the idea of not getting to see them for both Christmas and Thanksgiving really bummed me out. However, my boyfriend made an excellent point (he tends to do that from time to time). Is it realistic for us to get engaged in the next couple of years if we have never spent the holidays with each other’s families? I admit, he had a point. 

From there, we decided who was getting what holiday. Being the massive Carolina fan that I am, I requested Thanksgiving this year. That way whenever we go back and forth, we will always be in South Carolina when the Clemson vs Carolina rivalry game is at home (aka Willy B). 

Thanksgiving went swimmingly. Obviously, there was no change for me and my boyfriend acclimated with ease. Between, spending a dinner alone with my step-mom and Dad, going out with high school friends, and meeting 30+ family members; I have to say I was impressed. My friends continue to adore him, but the real seal of approval came from my Granddaddy Jack. He spoke so highly of him following their meeting and that warmed my heart. I have always wanted to end up with a gentleman just like him so his approval is so important to me. 

Getting that sense of approval and comfort of having my person with me on such a special day further solidified that Ben was right. Sharing holidays and important moments in time is HUGE for the progression of a relationship. Of course, he had to sacrifice his traditions, but new ones are formed as well. 

Now the real test, at least for me, was separating from my family. Coming from a divorced household Christmas has always been busy. Making sure I get to see my Dad, Mom, and my brother’s family has been no small feat over the years. But not getting to run around to see the people I love the most made me so sad. On top of that, I was sh*tting my pants thinking about how I would be perceived by Ben’s family. He has the loveliest parents in the world, and I was just afraid that I would say something wrong or that the way I am would be off-putting. How was I going to manage to make them like me for an entire week? Honestly, it wasn’t until the plane ride over that I was filled with a sense of calm. 

My fear was replaced with excitement. This is a big step! And one I am SO ready to make. Looking back, my nervousness could not have been sillier. I was welcomed with hugs into their beautiful home. We ate great home cooked food (shoutout Mrs. Linda), drove around town in their old Jeep, and explored Pensacola with his family. Each night we would sit down for dinner and talk then spend time together cleaning up. Either opting for a movie or just good company before bed. This was a whole new experience for me. My brother has a family of his own and I split time between parents. Having everyone in one place every night is something I don’t think they realized I would cherish.

Their Christmas is very different than how I spend mine and I learned that that is wonderful. Having a great experience away from home doesn’t take away from the magic I usually get from my own Christmas. If anything it gave me the best of both worlds. At my boyfriend’s Christmas, I get to see a family with a couple married for 30+ years, plenty of home cooking, and quiet nights by the fire. At my Christmas, I get to be surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, and nephews. I get to see my nieces experience Santa Clause in the morning and play games with my extended family by the afternoon. 

The differences made me grateful for my family and grateful for the family that invited me in. I feel stronger in my relationship and feel like we both understand each other more, because we understand the people we came from. It’s more than a dinner or a quick trip. We each are forever imprinted on that holiday. Photos and memories from this year, made permanent in the scrapbook of our lives. We will look back on this year as a big one for firsts. 

A holiday away from home is bittersweet. You will miss your family and appreciate the time with those that have welcomed you to theirs. When it is right, make the step. Share the major moments with the ones you have always loved and the ones you continue to love more and more. I think every couple will have to make a decision when the time is right for them. If I can give any advice its as follows:

• Don’t be afraid to be yourself – they want to know you – not the version you’re trying to project
• Be aware of your partner when they’re at your holiday
  • letting them spend alone time with your family is great, but make sure they feel acknowledged and have time to themselves as well
• Be as excited to share your traditions as you are to participate in theirs 
• Take lots of pictures and then put the phone away to enjoy the moments as they come
• Be gracious, clean, and please remember to pack a bra